Shuuichi's Special
by sleepingdead
Summary: Shuuichi makes a love potion in order to make Yuki fall madly in love with him and let him back into the apartment; however, he decides to test it out around NG first. Can Tohma stop him in time?
1. The First Chapter

7/26/03:  Updated?  I didn't know I did that sort of thing, but uh…good publicity, being on the first page and all…  So, I didn't add anything 'cause it was finished already, but I did fix the mistakes I found, because I noticed my 2-o'clock-in-the-morning editing was not that great…  Anyway, if you noticed Spiwolf7's review, she was serious.  So review, 'kay?  I'll get more than happy thoughts if you do. 7/01/03:  Hello, everyone!  This is my first Gravitation story that I've posted on FanFiction.net, so, uh, I hope you like it.  I like writing humor the best, just because it's a very humorous task to do.  That is why this is a humor story, in case you haven't gathered that yet. 

Disclaimer:  I disclaim Gravitation.

Now, read the story.  And then you review, which is a must, just because this story's so good.

First Chapter 

            Shuuichi hunched over his cauldron, grinning wickedly.  He looked back over at the counter, where a copy of _Witchcraft and Wizardry for those Complete Nerds who have No Lives Whatsoever and Must Spend their Time Brewing Little Harmless Concoctions to Feed to their Friends, Family, and/or Coworkers to Make Themselves Feel Better and More Loved_ lay open to a very specific page.  A page that Shuuichi had marked for a special occasion.  And that occasion was now.  Right now.

            It was Yuki's fault that he was doing this.  Well, it was Yuki's fault that he did _anything_ stupid, but that still didn't change the fact that Yuki still was the cause of this.  Yuki had, once again, to no one's surprise, kicked him out.  Again.  This time it was because of his cooking!  And like Yuki could cook so much better than Shuuichi.

            Well, maybe he could, but still, _cooking_?  That was a bad reason to dump someone, Shuuichi decided.  And so now, he was going to show Yuki just how well he could cook.  Yes, by feeding him a magic potion that he learned the recipe for from this magic witchcraft book.  It was guaranteed to make whosoever drank it fall madly in love with the first person they saw after fully swallowing .2mL of the potion.  And Shuuichi was going to feed it to Yuki.  And Yuki would fall madly in love with him and never kick him out again.  Not ever.  It was a completely, utterly foolproof plan.  

Mwuahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa…ack!  Man, this stench was really killing Shuuichi's throat.  He hoped it wouldn't permanently damage his singing voice.  That would be…not a very good thing.

            Anyway, back to the recipe.  Shuuichi slowly read the ingredients as he tossed them into the boiling cauldron.  (Handy, that Tohma keeps a cauldron in the basement of NG Records, right next to that old fashion iron stove.  Don't you agree?)

            "Sugar," toss, sizzle.

            "Spice," toss, sizzle.

            "Everything…nice…?"  Shuuichi looked at the ingredients again.  It would be a little more helpful if it was just a tad bit more specific.  Oh well.  He dug into his pocket and pulled out a broken stick of strawberry pocky.  Yes, that was nice.

            Toss, sizzle.

            But that wasn't everything that was nice.  Yuki was nice.  No, actually, on second thought, Yuki was really mean.  Ryuuichi was nice.  Yeah, Ryuuichi was really nice.  Shuuichi looked around him.  All around him, and through him, and over him, and under him, and even _in _him  (Eww, pervert, I mean inside his mouth).  But he really didn't have any Ryuuichi handy at the moment.  So instead he pulled out a piece of string.  Close enough.

            Toss, sizzle.

            Yep, that was about everything nice that Shuuichi could think of at that moment, so he figured it would suffice.  And next on the ingredients list, a big huge pack of unconditional love.  Ah, that was easy.

            Toss, sizzle.

            And then, suddenly the pot began to boil, and boil, and boil, and then it turned pink, and boiled some more.  And then it stopped.  So Shuuichi figured it was done, and began filling countless containers full of it.  He then loaded the containers into his backpack and waltzed up the stairs.

            Shuuichi was about to leave NG on his way home to Yuki, when suddenly a thought struck him.  It struck him so hard that he almost lost consciousness.  He began wondering if he would have a bruise the next day.  Stupid thought.  But that was beside the point.  Back on track, a thought struck him.  What if he accidentally messed up the recipe, and he was actually carrying around poison on his back?  He didn't want to kill Yuki.  Although it would be kind of cool to make him throw up after drinking Shuuichi's cooking after kicking Shuuichi out because he was throwing up after eating Shuuichi's cooking, but he didn't want to _kill_ Yuki.  No, he had to test it out first to make sure it worked.  Just to make sure.

            Shuuichi began going over everyone he knew in his head, trying to find someone that he didn't like and wouldn't be too horribly sad if they…accidentally got poisoned.  His mind immediately clicked to Tohma.  Yes, Tohma, who was always, and I mean _always_, checking Yuki out.  Oh, it made Shuuichi so mad to even think about those wide, yet evil, evil blue-green eyes gracing their way along Yuki's nice, slender, masculine curves…  Hmm, the thought of Yuki's nice, slender, masculine curves sure turned Shuuichi on.  But then he was immediately repulsed when he thought of that one time.  Yeah, that one time when Yuki was really drunk and Shuuichi took the liberty of noticing that his wonderfully, beautifully, cat-like…ahem, when Yuki's eyes returned the whole checking out business, and not-so-subtly drank Tohma's nice, slender, feminine curves.  Hmm, the thought of Tohma's nice, slender, feminine curves kind of turned Shuuichi on too…

            No, no, they didn't!  Besides, Tohma was married, and to a woman at that.  He had no right to be looking at Shuuichi's Yuki like he did.  It just made Shuuichi so mad!

            But, back onto the original train of thought that brought Shuuichi's thoughts to Tohma and his curves, Shuuichi began to seriously plan how to slip about, oh, say, .2mL of this baby into his blood stream.  Yes, and then he'll be so involved in whomever he sees first that he won't even bother looking at Yuki ever again.  Oh, the thought seemed too good to be possible.  Swiftly and silently, like a stealth assassin ninja out to take revenge on the ronin samurai that stole his sushi, Shuuichi crept up to Tohma's office.

            But inside he found the said blonde nowhere in sight.  Instead, there was that one guy.  Yeah, that one guy.  The one who looked kind of like Yuki's younger brother Tatsuha, only his eyes curved slightly downwards.  Otherwise they'd be identical twins.  Shuuichi tried to remember that one guy's name, or what he did for a living, or how Shuuichi had met him in the first place, but his mind was drawing a blank.  It didn't really matter though, since something much more interesting was going on with that one guy.  Shuuichi had obviously walked in on him doing something he wasn't supposed, like…gasp!

            "Huaghk!  You're going through Seguchi-san's desk!" Shuuichi screamed as loud as he could.  "I'm gonna tell the boss on you!"

  
            That one guy froze.  He stared at Shuuichi through those eyes that slanted slightly downwards.  Thank goodness for those eyes, too, or else Shuuichi would constantly confuse that one guy with Tatsuha, and that would be bad, since Shuuichi didn't really like that one guy, but Tatsuha was his friend.

            "No, no, you can't!" that one guy yelled back.

            "Why not?" Shuuichi replied mockingly.

            "Because, because," that one guy stuttered.  "Oh, please don't tell.  Seguchi-san's gonna kill me.  Literally!  He's already given me several death threats, and even pushed me out in front of that ca—uh, please don't tell him.  I'll do anything!"

            "Anything?" Shuuichi repeated.  He liked it when people said that.  Immediately he ran a list through his mind of all the things he could make that one guy do:

            Evil tentacle rat feeding.

            Alien cyber-adoption center.

            Bunny Bunny lucky-go-funny dun-dun dance.

            Happy penguin mechanical duck walking.

            The possibilities ran through Shuuichi's mind.  Yes, he loved the happy penguin.  But his mind quickly snapped back to the present.  He had a bigger hand at task, no, I mean task at hand, and he had no time to deal with that one guy's antics.  Besides, he had to find Tohma to feed him the potion…

            "Oh!  The pooootttttiiiiiiooooonnnnn…" Shuuichi cooed.  "I won't tell Seguchi-san that you were GOING THROUGH HIS DESK, if you drink this."  He held up a glass of pink liquid that seemed to magically appear in his hand.  That one guy 'tsk-ed' and snatched the glass out of Shuuichi's hand.  He didn't drink it though.  Just walked past Shuuichi out into the hallway, holding it.  It was very frustrating to see.

            That was when Shuuichi heard that familiar voice.  "SHUUICHI, HAVE YOU SEEN SAKUMA-SAN ANYWHERE???"  It was Tatsuha.  Yeah, that's the only person who had access to NG that ever would call that out, excluding Shuuichi, and Shuuichi was pretty sure he wasn't the one who had just shouted that, so he figured it was safe to assume that it was Tatsuha.

            That one guy stopped in front of Tatsuha, and Tatsuha stopped in front of that one guy, and the two stared at each other in horror.

            "You look just like me," that one guy said.

            "You look just like me too," Tatsuha said.  "Only, your eyes are slanted slightly downwards.  Otherwise, you'd look exactly like me."

            "Yeah," that one guy agreed.  It was a habit of his to just shove whatever happened to be in his hand at the time into his mouth when he got nervous, and at that time, there was a glass containing a pink potion, so he shoved it into his mouth, glass and all.  Luckily it was a small glass.

            "Yes," Shuuichi whispered as he hid behind Tohma's door so that he wouldn't be the first one that that one guy would see.  He watched as the reaction took place.

            First, that one guy looked like he was about to throw up for about five minutes.  Then he closed his eyes and stood still for about five minutes.   Then he began to convulse for about another five minutes.  Then he stood up again and stood still for about another five minutes.  Then he opened his eyes and looked at Tatsuha for about five minutes.  Then he got this dreamy look in his eyes and immediately proceeded to glomp Tatsuha.  

            "Mission equals success," Shuuichi said happily as he stepped over Tatsuha, who was desperately trying to get out from under that one guy.  Shuuichi nodded his head spastically in victory.  As he was about to enter the elevator, he looked back and the new love couple.  They were really cute together.  Yup.  This was really fun.  And he had some spare potion anyway, so he decided to take the elevator the third floor where his rehearsal studio was located.  Fujisaki was sure to be there.  Shuuichi sometimes got the feeling that Fujisaki lived there, and slept there, and did everything there, except maybe use the bathroom, because it'd be stupid to use the bathroom in the rehearsal studio, since there was no bathroom in the rehearsal studio.  No, the bathroom was just a few rooms down from the rehearsal studio, and Shuuichi didn't think Fujisaki was too lazy to not just walk a few rooms down to the bathroom from the rehearsal studio.

            So, onto the studio…


	2. The Next Chapter

The Next Chapter 

Shuuichi walked into the studio, and sure enough, there was Fujisaki.  And two others.  Shuuichi recognized Seguchi Tohma, the very man he had been looking for previously, but now didn't really want to find because he wasn't testing his potion anymore, just having fun with it, and he didn't want Tohma to have any fun because Tohma didn't deserve to have any fun after he looked at Yuki like _that_.  Oh, yeah, and Tohma's wife Mika was there too.

            Na, oh well, Shuuichi wasn't about to let Tohma ruin all his fun.  So he decided to give them all a sip of his little potion and see what happened.  Yup.  That would be loads of fun.

            "Hey, who wants to try Shuuichi's Special?" Shuuichi cried aloud, jumping into the room with a loud _thud_ to make his presence known.  Everyone seemed to don this nervous look when they saw him holding three glasses of yummy pink liquid.  Without waiting for an answer, he instantly marched up to Suguru first, and offered him a glass.  Fujisaki, so as not to be rude, accepted it gratefully.  Mika did, too, following her cousin-in-law's suit.  Only Tohma didn't care about manners, and so he blatantly refused it.  Shuuichi made his face look as hurt as possible as he slithered out of the room.  Tohma always ruined all of his fun.

            But that didn't stop Shuuichi from turning back and watching through the crack in the door to see what happened.  Their reactions were much quicker, since I really don't feel like typing that out again, and consisted of them merely closing their eyes and opening them again.  Mika gazed at Fujisaki lovingly, and Fujisaki gazed at Mika lovingly.  Tohma stood to the side, glancing at the two, making occasional comments like, "Are you okay," and the like, but it was obvious that he knew this was somehow connected to Shuuichi's Special (What a great name!  Alliteration.  Yup).  His eyes flashed angrily towards the door, and Shuuichi quickly rolled away.

            Rolling down stairs really hurt, but Shuuichi couldn't use the elevator since he couldn't reach the buttons from the floor, so he decided to brave it.  He rolled off each step, hitting the one below it with a painful thump each time.  He decided to get off on the second floor, because the prospect of have to roll down another flight of steps seemed all too painful.  It was really hard to get the door open from the ground, so Shuuichi stood and pushed it open, and then returned to the floor and continued rolling.  And he rolled and rolled and rolled and didn't stop rolling until he hit something hard that turned out to be Hiro's feet.  Shuuichi didn't understand why his friend always had to wear steel-toed boots, and now he wished more than anything that he didn't.

            Hiro dragged Shuuichi to his feet by his collar and proceeded to dust his little pink-haired friend off.  Shuuichi moaned and stepped backwards out of his friend's clutches.

            "Hiiiiiiro," Shuuichi beamed as he pulled out another glass of Shuuichi's Special.  He offered it to Hiro, who looked at it like it was some evil, axe-wielding pigeon that had just flown in to slice his head off.

            "Shuuichi, what is that?"

            "Shuuichi's Special!  It's really good!" Shuuichi exclaimed happily.

            "Oh?" Hiro replied with a mocking smile.  "How do you know it's good?  Have you tried it yourself?"

            Shuuichi's body spasmed as he 'irk-ed' and nearly dropped the glass.  "No, I guess I haven't, but that one guy, and Suguru, and Seguchi-san all liked it," Shuuichi said, decided not to elaborate that when he said 'Seguchi-san' he was referring to Mika and not Tohma, because whenever Mika came to NG, she was always following Tohma around everywhere and if Shuuichi had given her some and not Tohma, it meant that Tohma must have refused to drink it and Hiro wasn't about to drink anything that Tohma wouldn't; after all, that little blond cutie could occasionally be classified as a genius and had nice judgment at all times.

            "I don't see them anywhere," Hiro commented.  "Have they all been rushed to the hospital already?"

            "Hiro, you're so mean!" Shuuichi pouted.  "MEANIE.  MEANIE.  MEANIE.  MEANIE.  MEANIE.  MEANIE.  MEANIE.  MEANIE.  MEANIE.  MEANIE.  MEANIE…" and so on, and so forth.

            Hiro was backing away from his overly obnoxious and loud friend slowly and carefully, as if Shuuichi was a rabid dog that had just rested his eyes upon the largest homegrown pancake being eaten by three starving rabbits.  "Shuuichi, really, Yuki is sometimes right when he calls you an annoying b—"

            "Yu-Yukiiiiiiiii?" Shuuichi repeated, his eyes filling with tears.  How Shuuichi had heard him over his ear-piercing screams was beyond Hiro, but he could tell by Shuuichi's reaction that Yuki had kicked him out again.  No big surprise there.

            "Uh, Shuuichi, I'm sorry, but—" 

            "YUKI!!!!!!!!!!  I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!"  It was with these words that Shuuichi remembered his plan, and he held the drink up to his red-haired friend again.

            "Umm…"

            "Drink it and make it up to me for being so mean," Shuuichi demanded, shoving the little glass even closer to Hiro's face.  Hiro looked very frightened, but took the glass anyway and downed it in one gulp.  To his surprise, it actually tasted pretty good.  Like candy.  

            Hiro's eyes closed suddenly, and Shuuichi suddenly panicked.  He had forgotten to run away as soon as he handed the glass to Hiro, and due to my laziness causing a shortening of the reaction to the potion, he had no time to escape.  Hiro's eyes opened and rested on his little pink-haired friend dreamily.

            "Shuuichi…" Hiro said, and immediately blushed.  That name, it was so beautiful.

            Hiro's eyes skimmed over Shuuichi's nice, chic (that's chic, as in 'sheek,' not 'chick.'  It's German), thin body, with nice, soft skin that was begging to be touched, especially since Shuuichi insisted on covering as little of it as possible.  Hiro then looked up to study his best friend's face, with those wide, sparkling purple eyes glaring fearfully back at him, and those luscious lips just begging to be kissed.  Hiro had always had a little crush on his friend, though he always thought it was due to the fact that they were so close, but he had never really realized how cute Shuuichi really was.

            "Uh, Hiro, maybe I should tell you something," Shuuichi said, gracefully moving those soft, warm lips as he spoke, though all Hiro heard was, "Kiss me, please Hiro.  I want you.  I want you so _badly_."

            Hiro was happy to oblige.  He swiftly lunged forward, and their lips met for a brief second until Shuuichi let out a glass-shattering scream and scurried away as fast as he could go.  Hiro began running after him, shouting, "Wait, my love," but Shuuichi somehow managed to lock the door to the snack room, leaving Hiro out in the hallway, desperately looking for something to pick it with.

            Shuuichi sat down at the table, still gasping for breath, as he pulled out the cartons of the pink potion and some extra cups.  He put one of the huge cartons in the fridge, and then proceeded to fill the cups silently from another container, wondering who he should victimize next, though deep in the back of his mind spoke a voice.  It was his conscience, and although Shuuichi was usually too hot-headed, or just plain dumb, to listen to his _conscience_, it spoke really loudly today, and Shuuichi couldn't help but listen to his own beautiful voice inside his head.

            'You realize you're ruining people's love lives here, Shuuichi.  You should stop, you really should.  I mean, think of how sad Hiro will be once he realizes you will always reject his newfound feelings because you're still in love with Yuki and you always will be.  And what about Tatsuha, always having to hide from Aizawa; he may even have to leave the country.  And even though Tohma deserved fully well to lose his wife, it's still a bad thing to do, Shuuichi.'

            Well, first of all, Shuuichi was listening to his voice, and not his words, so nothing really registered.  And second of all, he wouldn't have realized who Aizawa was anyway.

            'Shuuichi, LISTEN!!!' his conscience screamed, but Shuuichi wasn't listening; he was too busy paying attention to the weird cracking sound that came from above.  I mean, from the third floor, not Heaven.  Suddenly, the ceiling fell apart, and along with a bunch of dried plaster and dust, none other than Shuuichi's very own idol, Ryuuichi Sakuma fell from above (and I still mean the third story, not Heaven, though in Shuuichi's eyes, God very well may have sent his idol crashing down to rest on the floor beside his feet).

            Ryuuichi sat up, rubbing his head with a dazed look on his face, then immediately shot worried looks around the floor beside him, seeming to search for something.

            "Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh noooooooo!" Ryuuichi yelled, tears rising in his eyes.  He began pushing the pile of plaster away, then sighed audibly when he retrieved a pink stuffed bunny, now stained white from the plaster.  "Hufuuuuuu, that was close, hnn, Kumagorou-chan?!  I was soooo worried!" he said, blinking his eyes with a relieved smile.

            "Uh, Sakuma-san," Shuuichi said, still unable to believe that his idol was sitting there, only inches away from him.  He blinked to make sure it was true, and then when he realized it was, he quickly glanced around to see if he had any paper for Ryuuichi to sign.

            "Shuuichi?" Ryuuichi said, blinking up at Shuuichi with his big eyes.

            "Uhnn, hello, Sakuma-sa—"

            "NO NO NO NO!  It's Ryuuichi!  Ryuuichi!" Ryuuichi yelled, giving Shuuichi a smack with his Kumagorou.  And it really hurt.  Not only did those button eyes really sting, but Shuuichi began wheezing from the dust expelled from the little toy when it whipped his head.  He looked up at Ryuuichi apologetically, who seemed to have already forgotten about Shuuichi's transgression, for he was now happily playing with Kumagorou.

            "Uh, Ryuuichi," Shuuichi said, taking a step closer to the gray, plaster-coated man.  "Uh, why did you just fall through the ceiling?"

            "No, I fell through the floor," Ryuuichi corrected with a matter-of-factly smile.

            "Oh, then why did you just fall through the floor?"

            "Kumagorou thought that if we started digging, we could dig all the way through the Earth and come out on the other side of the world in New York.  Only, we didn't come out in New York, we came out on the second floor."

            "Oh."  Shuuichi pondered this.  Could you come out in New York if you dug through the Earth's core?  No, that couldn't be right, or else K would have just had Shuuichi dig to New York to pick up Yuki instead of _flying_ there.  Yeah, Kumagorou must just be confused.

            "Yaaaa!" Ryuuichi screamed, making Shuuichi jump.  "Pink lemonade!  I love it!"  He jumped to his feet and grabbed a glass of Shuuichi's Special.

            "NO!  Don't drink that!" Shuuichi's conscience yelled aloud.  Ryuuichi paused, and then he looked at Shuuichi, then back at the glass.

            "Why?" Ryuuichi asked, still glancing back and forth between Shuuichi and the glass.  "Is it poison, or something?"

            Shuuichi suddenly realized why his conscience had stopped Ryuuichi from drinking it.  Thinking carefully, there really was no way out of the snack room; not only was the door locked, but Hiro was clawing at it on the other side, and Shuuichi would just not have time to get away before Ryuuichi opened his eyes again due the shortened reaction from my laziness.

            "Uh, no, not poison, not really, I mean, only, I just don't want, you know, _you_ to drink it," Shuuichi stuttered.  He could only imagine his idol, no, his god, being completely in love with him.  That would be a little too much and would destroy his tact and boost his ego.

            "Is that because, because, because," Ryuuichi stammered, tears welling up in his eyes, "because you _hate me_, and you don't want to share your lemonade with me?  SHUUICHI YOU'RE SO MEAN!!!!!"

            "No, uh, Ryuuichi, that's not it at all," Shuuichi said, putting a smile on his face.  "It's just that, well, it's a, um, a love potion, you see, and it makes the person who, uh, who drinks it fall in love with the first person they see, and so if you, you know, drank it, you'd fall in love with me, but it wouldn't be real love, it'd just be…not real love."

            "Love potion?" Ryuuichi said, studying the glass.  "Wow, Shu-chan, did you make this?  This is amazing!"

            "Uh, well, thanks, Ryuuichi."

            "Can I have some?" Ryuuichi asked, pointing to the glasses Shuuichi had laid out on the table.

            "No, I just told you, Ryuuichi, it will make you fall in love with me," Shuuichi said.

            "But I don't want to drink it.  I want someone else to," Ryuuichi said, looking down at the floor with a blush.  He moved Kumagorou to the top of his head as if to hide his face.

            "Hughk?  Ryuuichi, do you have a crush on someone?" Shuuichi asked, much to Ryuuichi's dismay.  "Who is it?  Who?  Who?  Who?  Who?"

            Ryuuichi blushed even more and mumbled something that sounded like, "The big lady's elephant had a few too many tables to eat," but Shuuichi was sure that that wasn't what he had said.  Unless he had a crush on the big lady, or the elephant, but he didn't know anyone like that, so that probably wasn't it.

            "What did you say, Ryuuichi-san?" Shuuichi asked, bending over so he could look into Ryuuichi's face, which was now turned all the way to the ground in an attempt to let his bangs cover it.

            "Umm, heh," Ryuuichi said.  His face was beet red.  "Well, it's really nobody, you know…"

            "Tell me!  Tell me!  Tell me!" Shuuichi screamed.  Screaming always worked with Yuki, so why not Ryuuichi too?

            "No, you'll laugh!"

            "I won't.  I promise," Shuuichi said, suppressing a giggle.

            "I'm not telling," Ryuuichi said, turning around and crossing his arms.  Wow, he was being really persistent, and Shuuichi knew his short attention span would cause him to waver soon, but he really wanted to know who Ryuuichi liked.  So he tried a different approach.

            "If I guess, will you tell me if I'm right?" Shuuichi asked.  Ryuuichi didn't answer, so Shuuichi went on, trying to think of everyone he knew that Ryuuichi knew.  Of course, Shuuichi had no idea of what Ryuuichi's sexual preferences were, so he had to think of _everyone_, male and female.  Shuuichi decided to start with males first, since everyone who worked in this recording studio seemed to be gay.  "Is it Hiro?"  That would be cool for Hiro, if Ryuuichi liked him.  Ryuuichi was Hiro's idol too, after all.  Of course, now Hiro was in love with Shuuichi, so it kind of defeated the purpose, and it would have made Shuuichi feel really guilty about giving Hiro that potion if Ryuuichi did like him, because it would mean that he had just ruined a perfectly good couple's chances together.

            "Nope."  Okay, that was good.

            "Oh.  Well, then, is it Tatsuha?"  The would be a great thing for Tatsuha if Ryuuichi liked him.  Tatsuha worshiped Ryuuichi even more than Shuuichi did, and that was saying something.

            "Who?"

            "Tatsuha.  You know, Yuki's little brother."

            "Uh, no…"

            "K?"

            "Nope."  Good.  Shuuichi couldn't really picture K with Ryuuichi, and besides, K was married.

            "Uh, Sakano?'

            "Nope."  Even better.  Oh, that'd be a weird match.

            "Umm, it's not that one guy, is it?"

            "What one guy?"

            "That one guy.  Umm, he has black hair, looks kinda like Tatsuha only his eyes are different, I think he…sings…or something…"  Shuuichi said.  Man, what was his name?

            "Oh, you mean Aizawa?"

            "Yeah," Shuuichi said, though he wasn't really sure.  The name didn't seem to ring a bell.

            "Nope."

            "Ken-chan?"

            "Nope."

            "Ma-kun?"

            "Nope."

            "That New York taxi-driver?"

            "…No…"

            "The airplane pilot?"

            "Uhn, no, not him either…"

            "Yuki's dad?"

            "No."

            "Oh, it's not Fujisaki, is it?"

            "Nope."

            "T-Tohma…?"

            "Uh, no…"

            "Ryuuichi, you're not in love with Yuki, are you?  That'd be horrible, Yuki's mine!  Mine!"

            "Not Yuki," Ryuuichi said, turning around with a reassuring smile.

            "Oh, good," Shuuichi sighed.  Well, that was all he could think of for the guys.  Onto the girls.  "How about Noriko?"

            "No."

            "Mika?"

            "Uhn, no."

            "Ayaka?"

            Ryuuichi gave him a blank look.  "A-ya-ka?"

            "Guess not.  That one reporter lady?"

            "No."

            "Yuki's editor?"

            "Nope."

            "Eh?  You're in love with my SISTER, Ryuuichi?" Shuuichi screamed.  Oh, that would be so cool!

            "Nope."

            "Oh.  Well then, the only other 'person' I can think of is Kumagorou," Shuuichi said, glaring at the stuffed pink bunny in Ryuuichi's hands.

            "Hmm?  No, Kumagorou is Ryuuichi's friend," Ryuuichi said, pulling Kumagorou into a tight embrace.

            "You lied to me, Ryuuichi!  I listed everyone I know!" Shuuichi said, shifting his glare up at Ryuuichi.

            "Nuh-uh!  You left one person out!" Ryuuichi said, pointing an accusing finger at Shuuichi.

            He left someone out?  Shuuichi quickly ran over everyone he knew in his mind again.  And then again.  And again.  He couldn't think of anyone he had left out.  Strange.

            "Are you sure I know this person?" Shuuichi asked, still going over everyone he knew in his mind.

            "Uh-huh, I know you do!"

            "Oh," Shuuichi said.  He was about to start listing everyone he knew over again for Ryuuichi to deny when the lock clicked open and Tohma darted inside, slamming the door on Hiro's arm.  Hiro whimpered and quickly pulled his arm out again, and then Tohma closed and locked the door again as swiftly as he could.  He turned around and assumed a dazed expression when he saw Shuuichi with glasses of Shuuichi's Special lined around the table, as well as Ryuuichi, now colored gray with plaster, standing in a pile of dust that matched.

            "Uh, Ryuuichi-san, hello," Tohma said awkwardly, eyeing him suspiciously.

            "TOHMA!!!!" Ryuuichi screamed, and then proceeded to glomp his band mate; however, he had forgotten he was standing in a pile of dust and broken ceiling, or floor, depending on how you look at it, and as he tried to pick his leg up to run, it caught on a piece of wood and he instead went crashing to the floor.  For this, Tohma was thankful because he knew Ryuuichi would have shed some of his dust onto Tohma nice, expensive designer clothes, and he did not want them ruined.

            "Shindo-san," Tohma said in his overly feminine, yet menacing voice.

            Shuuichi 'irk-ed' and began to slither away to the side.  However, Tohma merely had to move his eyes to keep up with Shuuichi's slow escape.

            "Shindo-san," Tohma repeated, taking a threatening step towards the pink-haired singer.  "I think I need to talk to you about your, 'Shuuichi's Special,' was it called?"

            Shuuichi laughed innocently and scratched the back of his head.

            "Oh, Tohma!  It's a love potion!" Ryuuichi said with a smile.  Shuuichi 'irk-ed' again.

            Tohma looked at Ryuuichi, realizing that his friend must not be under the influence of the potion yet.  Tohma smiled brightly.  "Ryuuichi, it's not a _potion_.  It's a drug."

            "Nuh-uh!" Ryuuichi argued.  "It's a love potion.  There aren't any drugs that make you fall in love with someone."

            "How do you know so much about drugs, Ryuuichi?" Shuuichi asked.

            "Uh, I learned it in health class."

            "Oh."  It did not occur to Shuuichi that the last time Ryuuichi attended a health class was probably about fifteen years ago, if that, and it was doubtful he would remember anything from it.

            "Ryuuichi," Tohma said, butting into the conversation again, "it is _not_ a potion."

            "Is too!"

            "Is not!"

            "Is too!"

            "Is not!"

            "Is too!"

            "Ryuuichi, I have no time to argue with you," Tohma said with an irritated sigh.

            "HA!  I won!" Ryuuichi yelled, then giggled happily and pulled Kumagorou even closer to him.

            Tohma sighed again and turned to Shuuichi, ignoring the overly excited Ryuuichi bouncing around behind him.  "Shindo-san," he said again, "I think you need to stop feeding everyone that.  You don't know what effects it might have on their bodies and brains, do you?  It could be poisonous."

            Trust Tohma to make him feel guilty.  "It's harmless To—uh, I mean Seguchi-san.  I followed the directions _exactly_."

            "Harmless?" Tohma repeated with that tone of voice that was questioning, irritated, threatening, and mocking all at once.  "Shuuichi, my 28-year-old wife has _eloped_ with my 16-year-old cousin.  Because of your _potion_, I have already lost two members of my family.  So, what exactly are you trying to accomplish by this?"

            "I have a reason!"

            "And what is that?"

            "Uh," Shuuichi said.  He did have a reason, you know, the whole Yuki thing, but first of all, he didn't want to tell Tohma how fragile his relationship with Yuki was at that moment because he knew Tohma would be certain to just slide right in between them.  Second of all, he had gotten a little side-tracked, and Tohma would be sure to chastise him about that too, so he just kept his mouth shut.  Tohma took this to mean, however, that Shuuichi didn't have a reason.

            "As I thought," Tohma said haughtily with that arrogant smile of his. 

            Tohma took another threatening step towards Shuuichi.  Shuuichi quickly gathered up his pack full of Shuuichi's Special, and glanced right and left, searching for an escape.  The door, however, was still being maliciously clawed at by a love-struck Hiro, whom, if he did not kill Shuuichi right away, would be certain to at least slow him down.  That was the only exit, and Shuuichi's eyes began to dart back and forth a little faster.  His eyes came to rest on the ceiling, or the floor, depending, where Ryuuichi's hole lay, but he knew he couldn't reach it, even if he did pull over a chair, which, of course, he had no time for.

            And so, without thinking, when Tohma took yet another step towards him, Shuuichi just closed his eyes and ran.  It was a small room, so Shuuichi hit a wall very soon, but like most things that got in his way, it did not stop him.  Instead, it crumbled from the overwhelming force of Shuuichi's skull, and brought him to a successful escape.

            Okay, so no more playing around.  That had been really close.  I mean _really _close.  Not just sort of close.  _Really _close.  Tohma had almost caught him.  Shuuichi never wanted it to be that close again.  So he immediately set off home to feed Yuki the potion.


	3. The Chapter After That

The Chapter After That 

Shuuichi had to walk home, due to the fact that he didn't have a driver's license (since no one at the DMV would believe that he was 19) and because he had spent all his bus money on sugar, spice, and those little pencil erasers that were shaped like colorful animals and just made one feel all warm and mushy inside.  By the time he got to Yuki's apartment, he was appalled to find Tohma there, sitting with Yuki, _his_ Yuki, and smiling that weasely smile, and laughing that girly laugh, and drinking his Yuki's beer with his Yuki.  Damn Tohma and his _car_.  Oh, that Tohma just bugged him sooooo much.

            Luckily, he had noticed Tohma in the living room before his usual shout when he returned home, so he remained quiet, and the two did not notice his presence.  So he snuck around the divider between the living room and kitchen and watched silently.

            "Really, I hope no one is permanently affected by this," Tohma was saying.  Shuuichi knew that they were talking about him and Shuuichi's Special.  Trust Tohma to go running to Yuki whenever Shuuichi did something that he didn't like.

            "Tch, the little brat is going to pay for this," Yuki said with a twitching eyebrow.  Shuuichi nearly gasped.  Yuki, _his_ Yuki, was agreeing with Tohma?  No!  His world shattered around him.  Yuki was gonna leave him for Tohma!  He just knew it!

            "Go easy on him, okay, Eiri-san?" Tohma said with his smile.  "I think it was kind of cute, ignoring the life-threatening part."

            Cute?  _Cute_?  Did Tohma just call Shuuichi _cute_?  And behind his back too?  Well, even though it wasn't really behind his back seeing as though he was sitting here listening to it, it sure was intended to be.  How insulting.

            Yuki 'tch-ed' again and took a sip of his beer.  He turned to Tohma.  "You want something to eat?  It's about dinner time."

            "Well, I should be getting back home.  I told Mika I'd be there for dinner—"  Tohma stopped, because he then realized that Mika wouldn't be their for dinner either, seeing as though she had run away with his cousin.

            "Stay here," Yuki ordered in his flat voice.  "I got some of the brat's leftover pizza.  It's pretty good."

            How could Tohma refuse Yuki?  He couldn't, so he didn't.  So…he didn't leave…and stayed there…for dinner…

            Yuki got up and approached the kitchen with Tohma shadowing him.  Shuuichi gasped and desperately looked for an escape.  He quickly slinked into the nearby pantry closet as Yuki and Tohma passed, and as their backs were turned, he snaked out of the kitchen into the living room.  There, he saw their glasses of beer sitting on the table.  Now was his chance; if he waited until after Tohma had left, Yuki would be on the lookout for him from Tohma's warning.  He had to do it now, just slip some of Shuuichi's Special into his glass, and then hide around the corner.  When Yuki drinks it, he'll just jump out and draw his attention so he doesn't look at Tohma first.  Yeah, that's what he'll do.  It was the perfect plan, completely and utterly foolproof.

            And so, with the stealth of a disgruntled mailman on his way to make a delivery at Madam Fufie's Living House of Spiders and Puppy Dogs, Shuuichi slid .2mL of Shuuichi's Special into the glass, then immediately took a hiding place around the corner into the hallway just as Yuki and Tohma emerged with two plates of pizza.

            Shuuichi waited silently around the corner.  His heart was beating so hard at the thought that finally Yuki would stop rejecting him once and for all.  He decided it'd be best to watch them for Yuki's sip of his beer, and so he peeked his head just barely out around the corner.  It was then he realized his horrible mistake.

            You see, he when he had come in, he noticed Yuki was sitting on his left, and Tohma was sitting on his right, and so he memorized that.  But when he went to put Shuuichi's Special in Yuki's drink, he had turned around so he was facing the same direction that the two were, and facing that way, Yuki was on the right while Tohma was on the left, but Shuuichi had not considered that, and he slipped it into the left glass which he had thought was Yuki's, but now with a terrifying revelation, he realized he had slipped it into the very glass of Tohma Seguchi, who was now lifting it to his lips to drink.

            No, this was bad, because Shuuichi knew the first person Tohma would see after he drank it would be Yuki, and since Tohma already had feelings for Yuki, they would only intensify, and with Tohma hanging off of Yuki every single second of every single day, Yuki couldn't help but fall in love with him.  Shuuichi would just die if that happened, so he did the first thing that came to mind, which, keep in mind, isn't always the best thing.  He lunged.  At Tohma.

            Unfortunately, he wasn't quick enough, because Tohma had already pretty much downed the last of his drink.  Shuuichi shoved him to the floor and shook him furiously, with Tohma's head banging against the floor with each pound.  Tohma grabbed Shuuichi's wrists, putting an end to the senseless violence that Shuuichi was bestowing upon him, and opened his eyes dreamily to gaze lovingly upon the pink-haired singer.

            You would have to be an idiot to call Tohma an idiot, because Tohma is not an idiot.  In fact, sometimes Tohma can be called a genius.  So, as you can imagine, his brilliant mind immediately realized what had happened, especially since he knew about Shuuichi's Special, and his eyes flicked back and forth between the newly appeared, now completely adorable Shuuichi and his empty beer glass.  Realization engulfed his eyes, but the fact that he knew that he had been drugged by Shuuichi did not change the fact that the drugs were working.  And he decided, being the manipulative bastard that he was, he might as well get what he wanted as long as the effects were working.  And he wanted Shuuichi, so he would get Shuuichi.  End of discussion.  He just hoped that Yuki wouldn't hate him completely after this, but he'd deal with that later, because now all he wanted was Shuuichi, and he would get Shuuichi.  End of discussion.

            Tohma pulled Shuuichi closer to him and held him into a tight embrace.  Very tight.  It almost seemed that Tohma was holding Shuuichi tighter than Ryuuichi holds Kumagorou.  Almost.  Shuuichi struggled in his usual unsuccessful way of flailing his arms yelling, "He-help!  Yuki!  YUUUUUKIIIII HELP ME!!!!"  But as usual, Yuki just sat back, looking at the spectacle with pure amusement.  After all, seeing Tohma so weak with lust was pretty amusing (since Yuki was a little oblivious and never really noticed Tohma's unrelenting advances towards him out of weakness of lust), and also, seeing his best friend go at his lover was, as much as Yuki hated to admit it, very arousing.

            Shuuichi continued to struggle, and despite Tohma's strength, (which, surprisingly enough, he had a great deal of) Shuuichi would not run out of energy, and Tohma quickly realized that he was not going to be able to defeat Shuuichi like this.  So instead, he reached into Shuuichi's backpack, which was now conveniently located right next to him for some magical reason, took out a carton of Shuuichi's Special, and poured in into his own mouth.  Shuuichi, quite taken back by this gesture, since he had been expected Tohma to force it into _his_ mouth as soon as he saw Tohma reach for it, stopped struggling and watched curiously.  He also wasn't expecting Tohma to force it into his mouth, and when Tohma did, through an open-mouthed kiss, Shuuichi stupidly swallowed it.

            Now, Shuuichi is an idiot.  And if you call him an idiot, it does not mean that you're an idiot for calling him an idiot.  It means you're pretty accurate.  I mean, Yuki calls him an idiot all the time, and I'd hardly call Yuki an idiot for calling Shuuichi an idiot.  Shuuichi, though, despite the fact that he's an idiot, was not idiotic enough not to know that he, too, was under the influence of the drug as soon as he opened his eyes, when suddenly Tohma looked so much more attractive.

            After a French kiss that lasted almost five minutes, Yuki was getting too bored (and perhaps too aroused) to just sit back and watch.  Not to mention the fact that he noticed Tohma's hands slowly making their way lower and lower down Shuuichi's body, and this made him a jealous boyfriend of sorts.  So he grabbed Shuuichi by the scruff of his neck and yanked him off Tohma.  Tohma stood up immediately and was glaring at Yuki, whom just stared back with his death-glare as he clutched onto Shuuichi as Shuuichi desperately tried to break free of Yuki's arms to get back into Tohma's.

            "Tohma!  Tooohhhhmaaaa!!!  Give me back my Tohma!" Shuuichi yelled as he attempted to pry Yuki's fingers from around his waist.

            "Your Tohma?" Yuki asked, sounding, if possible with him, a little hurt.  He angrily snatched the carton of Shuuichi's Special and shoved some into the pink-haired singer's mouth.  Shuuichi looked up at Yuki in horror, but as the drug took effect, his expression turned to that of pure and simple love.

            "No!  Shuuichi is mine!" Tohma yelled, and yanked Shuuichi back to him.  Shuuichi began to struggle against Tohma in much the same way he had against Yuki.

            "Yuki!  Yuuukiiii!!! Give me back my Yuki!" Shuuichi yelled.

            Tohma, copying Yuki's actions exactly, grabbed some of Shuuichi's Special and forced it into Shuuichi's mouth.  Shuuichi stood in a daze for even longer this time before the drug took effect.  After that, though, he belonged to Tohma, body and soul, for eternity—that is, until Yuki snatched him back and gave him another dose of Shuuichi's Special.  Then Shuuichi fell in love with Yuki again, until Tohma took him back with Shuuichi's Special.  But, instead of falling head over heels for Tohma, Shuuichi just fell.

            Tohma and Yuki stood there for a moment, staring at the limp body on Yuki's floor.  Yuki sighed, and with a subtle hint of fear in his voice, said, "Tohma, you killed him."

            But, much to Yuki's dismay, Tohma was already on the ground, cuddling Shuuichi's still body and spewing out phrases like, "Shuuichi, my love, what a tragic ending this is…  What can I do?  Just tell me what's wrong…  I should call I doctor…  I must get a doctor, right now…"

            Yuki's eye twitched.  How could Tohma fuss over his Shuuichi like that?  Shuuichi was YUKI'S!!!  And with that thought, Yuki dived, though not for Shuuichi, but for Tohma.  Tohma yelped as Yuki sent him flying into the wall, cracking it slightly, though not entirely breaking it since Yuki had reinforced it with steel to prevent Shuuichi from busting through it instead of using the door.

            "You're just jealous of Shuuichi's love for me!" Tohma cried, pointing his finger at Yuki.  "You know he won't ever belong to you!"

            "What are you talking about?" Yuki shouted back furiously.  "He was mine in the first place!"

            "Maybe so, but you've neglected him so much that he's been eyeing others," Tohma countered with that manipulative glint in his eyes.  "Don't you realize that that's why he created this love potion and poisoned me with it?  It's because he secretly wanted me all along.  He tried to give it to me several times before this, you know."

            Yuki's eyes flashed dangerously.  "You're lying!" was all he could think of to say.  He decided that Tohma wasn't really that smart; he just sucked out other people's intelligence and used it as his own.  Yuki advanced towards Tohma with his fist raised and was about to smash Tohma's pretty face, when he tripped over something that sent him tumbling to the floor.  He looked back to see the lifeless pink-haired boy sprawled across his feet.  It was then that he remembered Shuuichi, the lifeless pink-haired boy sprawled across his feet.

            Yuki retreated and gathered Shuuichi's body lovingly in his arms, and then he briskly exited the apartment, slamming the door in Tohma's face when he tried to follow.  Yuki carried Shuuichi down to his car and set him gently in the passenger seat, then started off to the hospital.


	4. The Last Chapter

Last Chapter 

Work had been called off for a few days at NG Records for several reasons.  For Bad Luck, it was because the lead singer was in the hospital for a drug overdose (the doctors had concluded that the mixture of strawberry pocky and spice had created and chemical reaction that resulted in a new substance that attacked the area of the brain that governed sexual activities, though when Shuuichi woke up, he insisted that it was the packet of unconditional love, the secret ingredient).  Of course, a few hours after he woke up, he fell into another depression because Yuki had proclaimed that this was all Shuuichi's fault, and then promptly kicked him out of the apartment.  Not only that, but Bad Luck's keyboardist was still on the plane returning from the Caribbean, where he had taken his cousin's wife with the intent to marry her, and the guitarist had locked himself up in the broom closet as he brooded over his unrequited love, but by the time the drug wore off, he realized he didn't have the key to get out.  

For Tohma, well, even though the drug had worn off the next day, he still couldn't get over the fact that he would have preferred Shuuichi over Yuki.  The idea was unfathomable now that his brain was working the way it was supposed to be.  And even though he was originally wondering how any drug could make a woman want _Fujisaki_ over him, he now fully understood what it was like.  But he still couldn't believe it, so he decided to take the day off to sort it out.  Besides, everyone else seemed to be in a state of confusion, now that there were large holes in the ceiling and wall of the snack room that had to be fixed.

            But most of the employees showed up anyway, due to the fact that they had no lives outside of work.  But since there was no work to do, they merely lounged in the snack room, ignoring the giant hole in the ceiling, as well as the pile of dried plaster and dust in the middle of the floor and the even larger hole in the wall into the next room.

            The group this day consisted of Noriko, K, Sakano, and Ayaka.  Why these people, you may ask?  Well, I put them in this snack room together because I haven't really used them in the story yet, so why not pick on them some?

            You'll have to go to somewhere else to get a better reason than that.  Even though wherever you go, you won't find anything, because this is the only place this story appears.  And besides, there is no better reason than that.  I mean, why else would Ayaka fly to Tokyo all the way from Kyoto just to sit and lounge in boredom in a snack room with three staff members of NG that she barely even knows?

            Anyway, so the four were sitting in the nice, comfy chairs, just being bored in general, and wallowing in the aftermath of Shuuichi's Special, though none of them really knew what exactly had happened the day before.  So all were unsuspecting when K pulled open the fridge with an accented, "Yay!" as he began pouring 'pink lemonade' for each of them.

            The End.

            Or is it?  Dun dun dun.

========


	5. Chapter?

Author's notes: (7/27/03) Yo!  Cassi here!  Like I said, it's updated!  Yay!  …heheheh, not that this is really a 'chapter.'  Nya, so, does that last chapter really count as a 'chapter' either?  It is…a little short.  But I didn't really want to tack it on to the last chapter, mostly because that would ruin my brilliant chapter titles, see?  Anyway, like I said, *updated*  You see, I don't think it's fair, really, that us NICE authors, who post all of our story up at once so that you NICE readers don't have to wait in suspense, get kicked off the first page so soon, and then everyone forgets and no one reads because no one wants to read the *old* stories.  This is not an old story…merely a month as of 7/27/03, so read.  It's finished.  You like.  You review.  And don't kick me off FF.Net for breaking the rules.  This is my freedom of speech, and placement in line, speech, you see?  And it's not like I just added notes to get it back on the first page either.  I fixed it.  It's all better now.  I made a few things clearer, and I got rid of the grammatical errors so commonly found in two-in-the-morning fictions.  I'm not cheating.  So there.

For all you folks who've reviewed, thanks a bunch…and thanks for all those future reviewers too!  Which I'm sure there will be…or else I'll have to pull out my malnourished Chinese rat beetles and set them loose on you's all!  If you notice Spiwolf7's review, saying that she will complete a page of our comic for every review after hers (complete with the _wrong_ spelling of my name…jeez, and we've only been friends for a few years), she was serious, so please please please please review, 'cause I've been drawing about fifteen pages to her one, and this might give her a little motivation.  Maybe my sinister pink gummy lemurs will give her…_motivation_ as well…hmm…  Besides, you people all make me feel as though my life is actually worth a few golden blacksmiths and twenty-four giant flamingo wheels.  It just…makes my life sort of complete, but not completely complete, because if it was completely complete, I think I would just die in completeness.  But you are helping me become complete, you see?

Oh, yeah, and as for who Ryuuichi has a crush on…FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELVES!  Nya, did that sound a little harsh?  It wasn't meant to be, really!  Hmm, there goes a few reviewers.  Maybe I should go back and delete that…anyway, there's one character that Shuuichi didn't mention (Unless I forgot someone), and if you have the time to dwell on it, go ahead and figure it out.  'Tis not that important anyway.

Maybe I should say this here…you know that disclaimer in the first chapter…it applies to all the latter chapters too.  No suing, 'kay?

Hmm, I think that's about it, neh?  So, with a final note….

….

….

….

….

I love Tohma.  The End.  Hope you all enjoyed it.  Yay!

Cassi.


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